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Bibically dressed man holding his head in his hand as he shows remorse

PARASHAT EMOR: The Shame That Brings Forgiveness

PARASHAT EMOR: The Shame That Brings Forgiveness

Sakai, Rabbi
April 30, 2026

This teaching explores the spiritual power of shame, repentance, and interpersonal responsibility through the story of Shaul HaMelech, the city of Nov, the Kohanim, and the Givonim. It emphasizes that sincere shame over sin can bring forgiveness from Hashem, but harm caused to another person requires appeasement and forgiveness from the one who was hurt.

The teaching begins with the statement of Chazal that when a person sins and feels true shame over the wrongdoing, that shame can become a source of forgiveness. This idea is illustrated through Shaul HaMelech, who, before his final battle, sought guidance from Shmuel HaNavi after receiving no answer through prophecy or dreams. When speaking to Shmuel, Shaul did not mention that he had also sought an answer through the Urim VeTumim, because the Urim VeTumim were connected to the Kohanim, and Shaul was deeply ashamed of having ordered the destruction of Nov, the city of Kohanim.

Shmuel tells Shaul that the next day he and his sons will be “with me.” Rather than being only a punishment, this statement also reveals that Shaul would have a place near Shmuel HaNavi, indicating that his shame and regret had brought a measure of forgiveness. The teaching explains that sincere embarrassment before Hashem over one’s sin has tremendous spiritual power.

However, the later suffering of Shaul’s descendants raises a deeper question. If Shaul was forgiven, why did his family later suffer because of what happened to the Givonim? The answer is that Hashem can forgive the portion of a sin that is between man and Hashem, but harm done to another person requires forgiveness from that person. The Givonim had suffered as a result of the destruction of Nov, losing their livelihood and enduring hardship. Since they were never appeased, that pain remained unresolved.

The teaching concludes with a powerful lesson about the danger of causing pain or embarrassment to others. Even when harm is unintended, a person must be careful with words, tone, and actions. Shaming another person is compared by Chazal to spilling blood, and the examples of Yosef HaTzaddik and a recent story of two young boys in Israel collecting funds for a wedding demonstrate how deeply Hashem responds to the pain of those who are humiliated. True repentance requires both shame before Hashem and sensitivity toward every person who may have been hurt.

NOTE: The above is a summary based on the original teaching.